joi, 11 iulie 2013

Alors, nous sommes foutus! Foutus pour l'éternité!...

Living between the extreme: happines and sadness. That's how I feel. Maybe it's some bipolar personality, or something so. Considering my zodiac sign, Gemini are all the time this way... like walking on two different sides in the same time. And I've fuckin' changed so much that I ca barely recognise myself... I think with 18 everything started to change. I used to be so naive, I was a silly girl who trusted people without any wonder. Even so, I still trust people, but not in that idiot way. I've never been scared of death, maybe that's why I'm a total dumb who tries almost everything in life. What could happen? I can only die. If I die, the rest will remain, the world will not collapse. I am/have nothing compared with all this huge Universe. Only a girl.
There's nothing that attracts me. I was speaking with A. that nothing can impress me anymore for a long period of time. Like really NOTHING. What could happen?! It's not like I've been through everything, no one will ever be. Still, I'm not being impressed.
* I've read so so many books in the last decade, but I've read them on my Kindle and I feel like I have never read them. I didn't buy any book (except Tudor Chirilă's Exerciții de echilibru) since I've received my Kindle one year ago. I used to buy tones of books. There was no week in which I didn't buy a book. I used to enjoy reading.
* I've tried a lot of things with my roller blades. M. asked me how that I'm not afraid to jump. Well, I never been. I think something is missing in my head.
* I've began a new story, completely oposite of my normal writing and I think I'll give up, as usually.
* In the meanwhile I am trying to find my ex-me in the actual me. Too hard to find yourself when so many dumb things happen. And they're gonna happen in the next future too. For the God's sake, how am I going to find myself in this awkwardness?
* I remember that I've wanted for so long and so much an electric guitar.  I've bought a classic acoustic one 2 years ago, when my music school teacher tried to give me some lessons. I got bored because he wasn't teaching me properly. The school year ended and I gave up. I still want a shiny black electric guitar, just because they're beautiful.
M. also realised that we're so material girls. Welcome to my life...

Alors, nous sommes foutus! Foutus pour l'éternité!...

 – Miku

2 comentarii:

Ramona spunea...

drumul de la adolescenta la maturitate e dificil, baby, si de obicei se face printr-o criza. Mai bine ai incerca sa o descoperi pe noua "tu", decat sa o cauti pe cea veche.
p.s. am vrut sa iti raspund in engleza, dar nu mi-a iesit. Suna atat de...gresit. Lexical vorbind :))

Myuuki spunea...

:)) toata viata numai crize. criza copilariei, criza adolescentei, criza varstei de mijloc...
da, suna corect sa o descopar pe noua eu. o sa vedem. *-*

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